The Snakes Are Back
The snakes are back. We knew it could be a possibility that they came back when the weather warmed up. It’s been 70 degrees here the past few days and guess who woke up out of their slumber? The den of rattlesnakes living underneath our porch. Sadly enough, (although I’m not that sad about it) I believe we killed and removed the snake parents this past fall when we moved in. We cut one of their heads off with a shovel (or more accurately I should say that the crew of men who have been helping us on our property used the shovel to behead one of the snakes) and the other snake parent, well someone drove him off to the forest while he was duct taped inside of a PVC pipe.
My father, being the snake charmer that he is, upon seeing the rattlesnake back in November, got a PVC pipe (a tool that I never would have chosen for snake control) and threw it on the ground in the general direction of the rattlesnake all while Heathar and I screamed at him to stop what he was doing. To the surprise of all three of us, the snake slithered its way into the PVC pipe, very conveniently containing itself, making my father look like the snake hero of the day which he of course was. Our neighbors came (because they are more snake proficient than the three of us were) and taped up the ends of the PVC pipe and happily carted the snake away to the distant forest. This morning I head that snakes travel far distances to come back to their original den. Could it be true? I’m not googling it. I don’t ever want to find out. Ignorance is bliss. Or, ignorance is still terror.
As I walked up to my porch this morning, I heard the small rattling of the infamous tail and I watched the tiny snake slither back underneath out porch. The snake was small. No doubt there are probably a whole nest of orphan rattlesnake eggs now hatching underneath our porch. Luckily, there are people who think it is fun to come and get rid of the rattlesnakes that live under your porch. I found one of them this morning. These people are VOLUNTEERS — they do not even get paid to do this work. I found them through calling our local wildlife center. They directed me to these crazy people who come out to your property with their rattlesnake catching equipment and make all your biggest nightmares go away. When I was giving this rattlesnake man directions to our house I said, “I’m so glad people like you exist.” And he said, “It sure does make a good story.” Perfect. You want a good story, I will give you one.
I can relate to that. I’m a writer and in order to write, I need to have things happen in my life to write about. I need to have deep, inner thoughts and feelings to write about. At least, that is the kind of writing that I like to do. But I do not need to write about trying to destroy a rattlesnake den underneath my porch. I will leave that to Dan, or Dale, or Christopher or whatever his precious name might be. I will find out tomorrow when we arrives at 11am. I cannot wait.
I realized something today when I outsourced the rattlesnake call. I didn’t try and destroy the rattlesnake den myself (you guys, I was close). I called someone with a lot more experience and expertise. It’s not that I want to clear out the rattlesnake den myself, it’s that I feel I should be able to. I feel that if I am going to have a farm, I need to be able to do all these things myself. I have to be capable and knowledgeable in so many areas that I am not. But when I operate this way, I actually think I miss out on the things that I am good at doing. I stop enjoying myself and start thinking that I have to complete each and every task and project that lies splayed open like a deer on the prairie — ripped open by the coyotes, or wolves or whatever has eaten it’s insides. That is what these projects feel like to me — they lay open in the sun, flies swarming around them. Someone has to close up the body, sew it up, remove it as if it was never here.
This lifestyle is going to require me to learn a lot of things I never knew before but also, there are days when I am going to do exactly what I am good at and only that. There are days when I am only going to lay in the sun and the hammocks and read my books. There are days when I am only going to write and do therapy and give astrology readings. There are days when I am going to paint a wall red instead of learning how to grout tile because it gives me great joy and I already know how to paint a wall red. I am not going to “Little House on the Prairie” myself every day. Meaning, I am not going to expect myself to do grueling work every day and work that requires me to feel inadequate and restless because I have no idea what I’m doing. I guess what I’m saying is, I still have the right to my own expertise. Like the rattlesnake guy. He does what lights him up and I respect that.
I think so often I live on the edge of trying to challenge myself. I want to learn something brand new, I want to feel like I really am stretching my own boundaries and diving into new territory. I am intellectually and physically adventurous. But I also have to remind myself that sometimes it is okay to live inside my comfort zone and that my comfort zone is different on each day. For the snake man, his comfort zone includes coming to my house and shaking up the den of rattlesnake babies. For me, my comfort zone includes hiking up to the top of the ridge behind our house and sitting in silence. For me, my comfort zone means studiously annotating the book on anxiety I am reading. These are my soft places of comfort and I want to remember to give them to myself on this wildly unpredictable and alive piece of land I live on.
